So this past weekend was General Conference. I always look forward to it every 6 months, to be uplifted, enlighted, and just feel good about what I am doing as a member, and to reflect back on what I can do better at. I usually try to think of something that I have a question to, or is troubling me, and know that there will be a talk given to answer all my questions. This time was different for me, I didn't really have anything pressing that I could think about that I needed answers to. I was able to watch all 4 sessions of conference, which is rare for me, and each talk was very uplifting and but nothing really stood out to me, until sweet Elder Holland got up to speak in the last session, and his words really were meant for me right now. He talked about the atonement, and what Christ did for us specifically so that we would not feel alone. He talked about how on the cross, Jesus asked to have "the bitter cup taken from him", but Heavenly Father had to leave him so he would suffer all of the pains that we would feel with loneliness. I have never had a prayer answered before that I didn't know I was asking. When he said the words, Christ will never leave us to be alone, my heart skipped with joy, as I felt I had an answer to an ever pressing ache on my heart I have had for a while. As some of you know we have been trying to have a baby for almost 3 years now. With not really anything medically wrong we ahve just not been able to have a baby. As I struggled for a while with "Why me?", I had to realize that everything happens for a reason, and I put it in God's hands. Lately though I have been silently struggling with the heart ache, when I see everyone being blessed with babies, and being able to start their eternal families. I didn't know it at the time, but I needed those words that Elder Holland said on Sunday. Christ suffered for us, so we would not only be able to repent but so we would never be alone, and he would alwasy be with us through our struggles, and heartaches. How grateful I am for a Heavenly Father who knows me, better than I know myself, and although I do not have my baby yet, I know one day he will bless me with having my eternal family.
Happy 4th Birthday Brooklyn!
5 years ago
4 comments:
April! So good to find your blog. I had to write because we have been trying to have a baby for over 4 years and Elder Holland's talk totally helped me too! I was sitting there thinking, this was just for me. I hope your miracle comes soon! It is so hard to be infertile.
He definitely knows us. Your time will come, and when it does, you will think to yourself, "wow, this really is better timing than my own." You know my whole fam has struggled with this, but in the end, it always works out.
April you are so great. I loved that talk too. Even though we each have different struggles, it's good to know that we will never be alone.
What a sweet post! Your testimony strengthens me. I can't imagine what your family is going through but I know that sometimes it is hard to see the bigger picture. Thank you for sharing your sweet testimony!
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